The 19th

Although the 18th is such a tragically sad day to remember each year, little sweetheart, I must remind myself that the 19th is actually a glorious one because it is the day that we recognized as our anniversary. Although we'd first met in December the year before and had our first kiss a week or so earlier that March, the 19th was the night you drove me home - or rather I drove your car, as you directed me to, with you next to me in the passenger seat - parked on a hill outside the place I was staying in Bernal Heights and made your move. "Oh!" - I finally got it and asked if maybe you'd like to come in and have a cup of tea. You did, of course, and there's far more to tell but it was very much our first night. Let's make sure we remember this glorious day forever. With all my love... 

Nightships

Written for you tonight, my little sweetheart. Sylvia will voice and I will underscore it on the new album. With all my love forever.  

 

NIGHTSHIPS

In restless hours, quiet angels -
Determined,
The holiest of ghosts -
Astride pinpoints of moonbeam
That stream between a gap in the curtains,
Alight beside us at bedside
As we lay dreaming.
Sensing trouble,
She reroutes our course,
Righting these nightships
That carry us far too close
To misadventure and rocky shores.
Anxious thoughts allayed,
Instead,
She steers us toward healing
And the bright horizon
As dawn approaches,
In hopes we will remember.  

 

 

On This Day (and every day)

Thinking of you, little sweetheart, on this day and every day. Some more words of, for and about you here. With all my love forever. 

Last Night's Dream

I had such an unusual dream last night, little sweetheart. You and I were at some awards ceremony - it might have for the theatre or maybe it was a film festival. Anyway, we both were nominated and we both won! I don't know why I dreamt that part - maybe because tonight is the Academy Awards (although I rarely watch and only mostly did with you and even then we usually forgot they were even on until an hour after it had begun and were like "Oh, yeah - the Oscars..." and would turn on the TV in your room, halfway through. 

Anyway, the more interesting part of the dream was after. We were staying in some little hotel and we had to check out by noon. We both got up and I thought you were in the bathroom but just then someone knocked on the door. It was room service and they were bringing up your breakfast order. I asked if they could bring something up for me too and the lady was a little flustered but said yes, she'd have to hurry because the kitchen was about to close. 

After she left I was getting dressed and I looked in the mirror and noticed I had a new line on my forehead. I started to examine and touch it and I noticed that I was bleeding. Like above my hairline and then all down my face. I tried wiping the blood away but it kept bleeding. I knocked on the bathroom door but you weren't in there, so I went in, put a washcloth under cold water in the sink and pressed it to my forehead until the bleeding stopped. I cleaned up and everything looked okay. 

Just then you came back into the room smiling and pushing an upright piano on wheels into the room. "I found it upstairs!", you said, beaming mischievously. It was like an electric piano, a Rhodes or something - short scale, 49 keys or so and a full on piece of work with a wooden base - not just a keyboard on a stand.  But also light enough to move around on casters somehow. "Let's take it home!"  you said. 

We were really happy with your find and our night. Then I woke up. 

Ha! What do you think it all means? 

With love... your Michael

Tonight, Remembered

Tonight, little sweetheart, was our last night before the tragic and impossible. 

Honestly, we'd had a rough day. We were in a difficult period of rehearsal for "Blackbird" - in hindsight an amazing project because it was a play for just we two - and we were a little stressed, after. But we talked it through, ordered a pizza for dinner (we never did that) from a place, incredibly called "Escape From New York", watched a story and fell asleep together.

We woke up healed, hopeful and headed back to a run-through of all we had of the play off book and blocked - our first full run through - and it was astonishing. We had it. Our director was beside himself with joy. This was going to be the best production in SF in a decade and we had it with two more weeks to polish. We headed off triumphant ... to buy groceries (homebodies, we just wanted to be in our jammies together with a DVD) and have a rare night off at home...

More about tomorrow, tomorrow, but tonight - tonight, we couldn't know anything. 

It's years later  - 15 years - little sweetheart. I'm feeling so much tonight and don't know what to say. I'm working on the book. I'm working on our 13th album.

Love you forever. See there. 

Valentines

Little sweetheart, it's Valentines Day and, of course, I think of our famous "Trip to the Snow" - when your folks invited us all to a weekend getaway in Lake Tahoe. 

You and I came up from SF after your class at the YC, where you were teaching. We'd passed by a shop window display a day or two earlier that had featured a pretty bra and panty set, Valentine-themed in black with red and pink hearts. You'd admired it from the sidewalk, so I circled back on my own and bought it. I gave you the brightly colored gift package when I picked you up in the car. You opened it in the back seat and swooned. I was so happy!

We had a long drive ahead through the mountains and increasing snow. We stopped at one point to gas up and get snacks. As I paid inside, I saw a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses and bought them for you. I couldn't help but gush to the cashier "have you ever seen such a beautiful girl?!" You were a little embarrassed but I was overwhelmed. 

How I love you! Forever! Take me home to you, soon!

Forever

Thinking of you always, little sweetheart. Between travels and troubled times, I've not kept up this page nearly enough but you are in my every thought and all of my work. The book goes forward, I'm in the thickest parts of our 13th album - the great Max Reinhardt had me on air recent to talk about it - and I love you with all my soul. More imminently. Love you forever.