Summer was cool- she had amazing style, great taste, ask anyone- but she didn't play it cool, she didn't play fucking games. She was a thousand percent up front and full on. She didn't withhold, she didn't passive-aggressively disappear into silence. She would be up three timezones away as I hopped  a cross-continental flight at dawn. Waiting to board at JFK to be by her side, she would text me, every time. "How are you, baby?! On your way yet?! I can't sleep- too excited! Can't wait to kiss you!!" Every time. This is one of the thousand things I must say to try and explain who this incredible woman was. How completely she loved me. And how I ache and always will until I may once again be in her arms...

No Show...

Somehow today in the midst of the tragedy in CT, I had a thought. The first was from the West Wing - "the streets of Heaven are too crowded with angels". Summer gave me The West Wing. Summer gave me everything. And somehow, wandering the streets today I remembered that I haven’t been to a show, haven;t seen a band, outside of our own gigs, since Summer died. The last one was here in NYC, her last visit, when we saw Broken Social Scene together. I had tix for Low in Phiily on my birthday that year but I wound up speaking at her memorial instead. Her eulogy on my birthday. Life is hard to fathom. I know today brings that to light for many. I already know. And I believe one needs faith combined with science (energy: read soul, read who we are -once created, cannot be destroyed). We can’t know now, cannot yet know, what we will find after death. But faith, faith, faith. Oh, my sweetheart - love you forever.