In a little while...

I'm packed and ready to go to the airport, little sweetheart. I'm flying tonight to be in NorCal for Christmas with your parents. Your mom is picking me up when my flight gets into SMF, quite late, well after midnight.

I love being with your folks, my sweetheart. But it's still always so terribly sad somehow flying because I remember how I used to to come see you.

How excited you would be! I always took an early flight to SFO, at six or seven in the morning Eastern Time to get to you before noon. And you would often text or call me to say that you were too excited even to sleep. No one ever loved me, as you, my darling. No one ever blurted out such unguarded pure things. No one ever, from the very start, so touched my soul and healed my heart as unselfishly as you.

When I was doing the play last month, I went into my castmate, Gina's, room one day to read my memorial speech for you. She listened quietly, we both were in tears by the end, and she said, "what a loss!" as she hugged me.

My little, sweetheart, life is so very lonely without you. I'm trying to do my best but I just long so to be with you again and forever. May it be soon, my love. Will you come collect me, just as you did when I would take a cross-continental flight like I am tonight? May I wake to find myself in some new, bright land, stepping out into the Beautiful Light and seeing you turn the corner in your Blue Prius, pulling to the curb of the Kiss and Ride, your beaming angelic face now seen through the windscreen as you park, jumping out of the driver's side and leaping into my arms? May it be soon? In just a little while?

It's nearly Christmas, my little sweetheart and I long to be there, where you are. With all my love...