The Photo Album

The last time we were in Davis together, little sweetheart, we had several days to ourselves. It was wonderful and I have a thousand memories of things I want to say about it, a thousand more about a thousand other things with you too. But today I'm thinking especially of this one. 

You were looking for some clear plugs for the ear piercings you had recently gotten. Your idea was that you could switch out the studs for the clear ones while you were doing the play in San Jose. We stopped in at a tattoo place downtown and you asked. While the girl was looking for something that might work, a song came on in the shop. It sounded like a DCFC tune neither of us had ever heard. 

They were such an important band to us. You introduced them to me and they quickly became one of our favorites. For my birthday in 2009, you took me to see them at Memorial Auditorium in Sacramento. We stood together in the crowd, you in front of me, my arms wrapped around you tight and we swayed and sang and cried and it was our own. 

In the shop, I asked you if you thought it was them and you told me to use the Shazam app on my phone and find out. It was. It was a song from their record "The Photo Album". I bought it on iTunes immediately and we listened together over those days. 

Today, little sweetheart, I was listening to a playlist on my old MacBook. My current one is in the shop. I didn't have my glasses on and I thought I was putting on another DCfC album, their first, "Something About Airplanes". That one wasn't your favorite so I don't have as much of an instant emotional response to it. But it turned out to be "The Photo Album". It's not as overwhelming as some of the others - "Plans", "Transatlanticism", "Narrow Stairs" - are that we listened to together so often and hit me now so hard. But his voice does take me to you. 

I only played the first song because I saw that there was something in the playlist info that had the date listed "last played" and all the rest of them had the date March 4, 2011. 

Four days before your tragic accident. Four days before out beautiful life would slip away. At least for now. I think somehow it's still there and when I die I will able to go back there with you anytime, even for ever. 

But today, I stopped the player. I want those dates to remain as they are. I found the album on YouTube and listened there instead. I want those dates on my old computer to stay as they are. With our beautiful life awaiting our return together. 

Maybe you are there even now, making things ready for me to join you. I can't wait. I know I must but it's hard. Someday soon, my love, take me. Bring me home to you. With all my love forever.