March and April are both filled with bitter anniversaries, little sweetheart. April 4 is another, almost inadvertent one. It was the day we already determined pre-tragedy for me to return to NYC.
The weekend before was meant to be closing of "Blackbird" and you and I had plans to spend the next few days together in Davis before I flew out on April 4 and then you joined me a couple of weeks later for recording sessions in Brooklyn, a workshop of "My Before & After" in the city and a quick trip down to Philly to see Low on my birthday - we already had tickets.
Instead, April 4 was the day I returned to NYC without you or any plans at all except to return to SF for your memorial, held, incredibly, on my birthday.
That feeling still of desperate loss continues to burn, little sweetheart, when this day, like several others comes around each year. I'll try to take it easy today. To listen quietly for your gracious spirit, blessed presence and hear your instruction.
Please be with me now and always and take me to you the moment heaven will allow. I love you with all my heart and soul. Forever. Forever.
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