10 Years

It’s a new month, little sweetheart, it’s July and I’m thinking that ten years ago I had just returned to NYC. I’d been in San Francisco almost all of 2009 at that point, only coming back to New York once for a week at the end of March to deal with a few things. I’d deferred a jury duty notice to July 1 because I’d heard that that was a good time for scheduling your service - no one wants to impanel a jury over the holiday - so I flew back. It also coincided with me getting a call from Wilson to help him out on a play he was directing. Wilson and you & I had been working together on one of my plays and would continue, actually having a reading with you in the main role later that August - but right now he’d lost an actor in his show and wanted me to replace him.

So, I was going foo NYC for jury duty and to stay on for the play. It sort of turned out to be the end of my tenure in SF. I’d come back again and again to be with you and it didn’t seem final at the time but I think going back to NYC and getting this job and then another and then another after that, may have marked the end of my trying so hard to fit in San Francisco’s scene which seemed closed and uninterested after Chris had left the Magic. I didn’t miss that but I missed you terribly. And it hurts my heart even now to think of an email you’d sent me about a friend of yours looking for a housemate, which you’d sent on helpfully but added that you thought that time had passed for me to settle there.

The better news, developing, was that you too had become disenchanted with SF and were thinking more and more about coming here to live. Indeed, in a year’s time we had serious plans for you to move here and your parents were even on board offering their help too. Ten years ago, little sweetheart, ended one chapter of our story but began a second one when you joined me here a few weeks later to see the play and stay on doing a reading of 7PGS at Rip Torn’s house in Chelsea, meeting more people here and beginning work with the band in earnest.

You called me that weekend after I got here to say you were at Outside Lands, a music festival that The National was appearing at and that it seemed ridiculous at I was not at your side. It was for us. For us together. Soon everything would be and I would have you in my arms again. Just as I believe now with faith will happen again and forever because it the way of things. It is the Meant To Be. With all my love forever.