In A Wonderful Dream!

In a wonderful dream last night you were with me again, little sweetheart!

We were in SF and going around places together. You had little errands to run and were were stopping by places meeting up with people briefly who you had to check in with, have a word or two. I was so overjoyed to be with you and finally understanding that even though it seems like we die, we don’t really - we’re always and eternal and just have to find our way back to that, back to one another. I told you, my heart racing with emotion, how broken I had been when you passed, when you fell. How I stood every day in the ICU holding your hand praying for a miracle and waiting for you, giving you all my love. I told you now I understood better because of what had happened to me myself when my own heart stopped for ten minutes.

Life and death are not what we think they are until we really know and now I was so grateful just to be with you. I was worried about things from before. I didn’t want to make mistakes or let my ego ever get in the way, to be jealous or do anything that would be in even mild disagreement ever again. I just wanted to treasure and be with you. Always.

One of the places we stopped was to talk to a guy, he was sitting at a production table or some kind of desk maybe, at work, and you were talking to him about an apartment. I thought maybe it was the idea of trying to find me a place near you, near your old apartment in the Sunset but what you actually wanted and told me was something new - you wanted to buy a house that we could live in together. Also, this guy had something to do with theatrical venue or something. He was going to help us put on a play for you to be in, one of my plays, I think.

Mostly what I remember of the dream though, little sweetheart, is just the feeling it gave me. It was so real being with you, back at your side. It was absolutely exhilarating. My heart really was racing,. And it was such proof positive that nothing else in my life could ever compare to that feeling of being with you and belonging. Just magic. You are. My love, my true love. My miracle. Forever.