Butterflies

Little sweetheart, as the season comes to a close turning to autumn, I've been savoring the last sights and scents and sounds. 

One of the loveliest of them all has been the proliferation of butterflies these last few months and it always makes me think of you, feel your celestial presence near me. 

There's a very pretty spot along where I run in Riverside Park. It's the little 91st Street Gardens. Often I'll go for a walk up there or start my run even father up to get in my miles so I can come walk and linger there, looking for the magical creatures. 

One of the most recognizable of all butterflies is the orange and black beauty called the "Monarch". They're famous for the epic journey they make each year from the Brazilian rain forest all the way to southern Canada. Sadly, over the last decade or so they've become endangered by climate change. Your mom and I watched a documentary about the monarch's migration about a year ago and one of the things they said would help bring them back is milkweed. Monarchs love milkweed, apparently. So, your mom planted some at both houses. 

And here in the park up by those gardens I've seen three or four or five of the little beauties almost every day. Also, a black swallowtail, of late. 

It always brings me close to you, little sweetheart, to stop and watch and gently talk to them. I know you are so much closer than I can even imagine and these pretty winged ones help always to remind me. 

With all my love forever. 

Guiding Star of Goodness

Little sweetheart, I'm so grateful for you. 

For a thousand thousand reasons. The great gift of your love, how you helped to mend and heal the ache in my heart. How you held me, your hand gently stroking the well of my chest and called me your treasure. Over and over. How you helped me see more goodness in the world. 

The other night I suddenly got this old Jackson Browne song in my head, I know you know the one. I looked for it online, finding a video of him and his band playing it. I watched it over and over in tears, thinking of you. 

How I long for you, how I miss you, how I love, how grateful I am for you. I remembered that this was probably a song I wouldn't have thought twice about before you came into my life and grew my heart with your incandescent beautiful spirit. And I shared the video with both your mom and dad. Sent it to each of them, musing how was it possible I could have once overlooked this song, so earnestly and beautifully hopeful. I needed you to show me. 

As I still do. As I pray for your celestial visitations as I lay asleep, as well as in the daylight hours. You and your enduring goodness. 

Please help and guide me always. And take me to you the moment heaven will allow. With all my love forever. 

More Radio Days

I almost forgot to mention, little sweetheart, that you've been on the radio twice in the last couple of days! 

As we're ramping up to the release of the new album, our 9th, Deux Anges, on your birthday, it's nice to report! 

Yesterday, WFMU, reached back to 2012's double-album Of Love and Loss, to play "Out", with your soaring vocals weaving in and out and floating above my own. 

And on Saturday morning 'FMU's Jefferey Davison played our most recent single "eleven:eleven" - the track I composed and we recorded for the UK's Dark Outside last April. Again, your vocals soaring above the bed of experimental dreampop sounds, Jeffrey had the kindest words, saying: 

"A long piece, "eleven:eleven", on Slugg Records, from Bipolar Explorer. I’ve played them before. Their stuff is really beautiful and I have to say this might be definitely maybe one of the more beautiful things I’ve heard from them – which is saying something. Really gorgeous piece.” 

As ever, little sweetheart - it's all for you! With all my love forever. 

Nearest & Dearest

As ever, I talk or text with both your mom and dad most days, little sweetheart. 

Through all this pandemic madness, it's been really hard because I haven't actually been able to visit them since January, when we all had a late post-Christmas Christmas together. 

There's been even more difficulties with the wildfires that have been raging across the state, rendering the air unsafe, and I've been really worried about them both but they're doing okay and we spoke again last night. 

You were so proud of your beautiful parents, little sweetheart (and they of you, of course!) and they are the very dearest people in the world to me. 

You and they are always in my prayers. With all my love forever. 

Picture This!

 Looking through those Ireland pictures, little sweetheart - there's more than 300 of them, thank goodness! - but I wanted to post some more of these... just our adventures together from London to Seattle, down the coast and at home both here and in CA. Love you forever.

Treasure

Remembering so many things, today, little sweetheart. And it's coming up on the anniversary of our wonderful trip together to Ireland. I'll probably post some of those photos here in the days to come. But just now looking at some of your texts I printed. This lovely one hangs above my desk. Love you forever.