The Last Day of October

Little sweetheart, surely Christmas was your favorite holiday - you always spent it with your wonderful family and included me once we'd met and it was always glorious and fun. But I think a close second for you as a favorite was Halloween. 

For different reasons, of course, since they are vastly different occasions - just for a start Christmas spreading out over days if not a week and Halloween coning down to single night in October (just two weeks away from your birthday). 

What I think you liked most about Halloween was its theatricality. You weren't much of a horror film buff or anything but you loved the idea of costumes and fancy dress. And candy! Ha! You loved candy! There was something so very childlike - in the most charming way - about your continued love of the holiday. 

I'd kind of lost sight of it until we met. I wasn't much of one for parties or the parade (quite a famous and altogether fabulous one here in New York, downtown in The Village). But in 2008 I happened to be in LA. Old DC friends - they'd actually gone to ACT - had a theatre company there called The Road and they were doing two of my plays - Real Real Gone and Seven Pages Unsigned - in a twin bill. You would've been there too except that you were doing Rock n Roll at ACT and about to transfer the production to Boston's Huntington Theatre (where I would join you just before your birthday). 

You were packing up and flying to Boston just before I was finishing up in LA. My friends lived in Van Nuys so the airport in Burbank was closer and easier to travel to than LAX so that's where I departed from. It was October 31 - Halloween. When I arrived just before my fight, all the attendants were in costume and passing out candy - the atmosphere giddy and light. I couldn't wait to tell you about it and it was then that I truly wondered when on earth did I go off of Halloween? It was delightful! 

I needed you to show me. I needed you for so many things, little sweetheart. You brought such light and joy into my life. It's hard sometimes now to find it but if I think of you as you were and don't fall into despair over your absence, I do. I do find the joy that you shared with me. 

Happy Halloween, little sweetheart!

14 Years Ago in Ireland, pt 8

Little sweetheart, on our last day in Ireland, after we said goodbye to our friends in Kilcrohane - already making plans to return for Johnny's birthday the following spring - we stopped by the heritage site (sort of like a national park) down the coast at Gougane Barra. There's a beautiful forest there and a lovely tiny church, where we stepped inside and I took this picture of you. We hadn't made plans to stop for more than an hour or so but you were so taken by the place, little sweetheart, we went into the little hotel nearby and got more info. You very much wanted to come back and spend the night, so we could walk the trails and get to know this lovely spot better. It became another of our plans. We had so many, didn't we, my little sweetheart? 

I believe time is something we don't really know while we're mortal. And that when I pass, I'll find you, of course, and find that we can be in any place, any moment we loved, together and for as long as we like. Is it something like that, little sweetheart? Will you tell me eveything I need to know about The Forever when I get there and run to you? 

With faith and love... your Michael

14 Years Ago in Ireland, pt 7

Little sweetheart, at the end of this day and another epic hike, you paused to sit on picnic table at the beginning of the trail, where we had returned. This is another photo I have a huge framed print of. It hangs in the red table room, here, with many of your things. Love you forever.

 

14 Years Ago in Ireland, pt 6

Little sweetheart, one night we drove to Bantry - the closest thing to a city that is out on the scenic remove that is the Sheep's Head Peninsula. In the high tourist season of July and August, it's actually rather bustling but on our visit this October night it was very quiet indeed. Our favorite place to eat in Bantry was a lovely little pub/restaurant called The Snug. Kris and I were surprised when the three of us arrived there. It was always so popular that we'd never actually ever gotten to sit at a table. We always sat at the bar. But tonight we basically had the entire place to ourselves. You loved the it! Perhaps indicative of this photo licking your fingers between bites! And you're wearing the double silver rings I bought for you soon after we first met and fell in love. I had a matching pair. Joy had made them. So, I ordered these for you and gave them to you on our very first time together in London. It made me so proud that you wore them always. This night in Bantry still seems so special and blessed. I remember that when we walked back outside and into the night, the bay was full of swans. We stood on the little footbridge and gazed at them for a long while. With love, your Michael. 

14 Years Ago in Ireland, pt 5

Little sweetheart, this is one of my favorite pictures of you, not only from our trip, but maybe ever. When we got all the way out to the lighthouse, there was a guardrail and a sign saying "Do Not Cross". True to form, you disregarded it and settled yourself onto these little steps to get a better view of the sweeping vista of the rocky coast and wide expanse of the Atlantic stretching into the horizon. You turned back, beckoning me to join you and I did, right after snapping this shot. I think you know why this image remains so powerful to me, little sweetheart. Even as I write this, a large, poster size print of this photo hangs framed above me here at my desk. Thank you for calling to me, my angel. I know we'll be together again, and forever, soon.

14 Years Ago in Ireland, pt 4

Little sweetheart, the most epic of our hikes was taking the trail out at the end of the peninsula toward the lighthouse. It was beautiful and a fine day for a walk. It certainly provided scenery for some wonderful photographs of you. Here is the two of us quite far along. Indeed, you can see the water, the Atlantic Ocean in the background!

14 Years Ago in Ireland, pt 3

Little sweetheart, on one of our walks near the bay, we found this little stone staircase leading down to the water. Perhaps a place to dock a small dinghy or maybe spot a little red-haired mermaid!

14 Years Ago in Ireland, pt 2

Little sweetheart, one of good friends in the village was a man named Johnny. We dropped by his house to see him on the second day of our visit - you, me, Kris & Joy - and then the five of us walked down to Eileen's pub in the town square for drink. That's Kris on the left, Johnny & Joy on the right, and you, of course, beaming and gorgeous, in the foreground. Me? Taking the picture! Ha!

14 Years Ago in Ireland, pt 1

Little sweetheart, 14 years ago was our lovely trip together to Ireland. From when I very first met you and told you of my visits there, you had asked me to take you and in October of 2010, we finally had a chance to go. We traveled with our London friends, Kris and Joy, flying to Cork City and then driving a rental car up the coast to the little village of Kilcrohane, where I'd often stayed before. We rented a cottage for the week and went off on adventures together. I'll share a few pictures as I like to do here each year, of our time. This first one was taken down near Doneen Pier after one of our epic walk. Love you forever.