Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving, little sweetheart. I’m on my own, as I so often am. But I decided to cook anyway. It’s something I learned a couple of years ago - to try and mark special days like holidays even if I’m alone.

In advance of my birthday a couple of years ago, little sweetheart, I asked a few people if they’d like to come over. I’d cook and we’d hang out and maybe even the band would play. No one could make the time for me. It hurt my feelings a lot and I was very sad and upset the day before.

But that night I heard that someone I knew had passed away. Her shiva was the next morning, the morning of my birthday. I put on a suit and walked up there and it was kind of wonderful. Lots of people. Kids running around. A ton of good food. Even a mariachi band turned up. It was a lovely celebration of her life. And walking home later, I decided I would cook and bake a cake and play our songs and speak my words for you as I always do since the first time I did - on my birthday in 2011 when you were meant to be here with me but on what turned out to be the day of your memorial.

You told me that Thanksgiving was never a very big deal in your family. Both you and your father have birthdays - November 13 and 22, respectively - around that time and Christmas was always really the far more celebrated.

I used to go see my mom at Thanksgiving and she would come back to New York with me after and stay up at her favorite hotel, The Excelsior, for a full week after. In 2007, she did. And right after she left, I flew to San Francisco to do the first reading of Tir na nOg.

It was December 1. It was the day I met you.

On Thanksgiving today, little sweetheart, I’m on my own but I’m not entirely alone. I can feel your presence near. I can sense you. I made the potatoes and deviled eggs and that pie you like, last night before bed. And just now, I’ve gotten the turkey in and the dressing ready to go.

This morning as I was having my first cup of coffee and listening to the mastered version of disc one of the new album, a sweet little bird alighted right outside on the windowsill. Just two feet from my desk. I watched and listened to his charming song and I knew you were here.

Later, I’ll have a plate and say my thanks - for you. For you, the great gift of my life. For you. And I’ll say my always prayer that God keep you safe in His care and that, as soon as heaven will allow, to please let me come be with you again and forever.

I love you with all my heart and soul. Best friend. True Love. Soulmate. Partner. Little sweetheart. Always, my love. Always.