Ash Wednesday

In addition to it being Valentines Day today, little sweetheart, it’s also Ash Wednesday.

One of the holiest days of the year, it also is filled with the most intense kind of sadness and grief for me personally because in 2011 Ash Wednesday came the morning after your tragic accident.

In the hospital all night waiting to see you in the ICU, as dawn broke and people began to arrive for work, to visit, or otherwise, the very signature and surreal sight of many with the mark of the cross in black ash upon their foreheads began to multiply. It was eerie and heartbreaking.

It wasn’t until a few years ago when I first began going to that little lurch on the Upper West Side that I’ve told you about, that first participated in the ritual myself. You come forward for what is called “The Imposition of Ashes” and the minister or priest says something and makes the mark upon you.

Today, instead of going up to West End, I stopped at Sacred Heart, the little Spanish church right across from that rectory I’ve told you of, where the nuns live and where the tiny garden with the statue of the Bless Virgin Mary stands - the spot I pass a few times each day and always stop to say our prayer, asking God to keep you safely in His care and to take me to you as soon as Heaven will allow.

For all these reasons, I’m thinking and longing for you today, my darling girl. Please help and guide me and take me to you, fold me again alongside where I may be with you always, forever. With all my love.