Bang Bang!

I saw a picture on Tumblr this morning, little sweetheart, that made me think of you.

Oftentimes, that happens. So many classical paintings or early Hollywood photos bear an uncanny resemblance to your angelic features.

But this was something else - a black and white photo of a girl in a kind of cowboy outfit. It reminded me of a story you told me, a text you sent me, about auditioning for the part of a tomboy who was known for her BB gun marksmanship.

You went to Walgreens and got a big Ace bandage to wrap around your chest and try to take your boobs down a size or two (good luck - ha!) because there were multiple references in the script to the character being flat-chested (so, very much against type) and that was very funny, of course, but what I'm thinking of that I liked so much was your telling me that you showed up with a cap gun. A little cap gun pistol and that you preceded to fire it off a couple of times, much to the surprise and delight of everyone, startling them all.

I loved that, too, but what I'm most thinking of was your describing why you happened to even have a cap gun pistol at all! And that, ad you said, you "liked to run around in the garden shooting it off".

I just thought the whole image of you doing that on your own for a laugh was absolutely perfect. So full of fun and spirit. Gosh, there just has never been or ever will be anyone remotely like you. Thank god you found me.

Please do again, little sweetheart. Find me soon, perhaps in dreams even tonight, and take me to you - returned and at your side were I belong again and forever. With all my love. 

Just because...

Because Summer told me she had a cap gun pistol when she was at school that she liked to run around and shoot off in the garden. Because she told me about it in the context of wondering if she should break it out and scare the hell outta everyone at a callback where gunplay was mentioned in the script. Because she adored retro "pin-up" photos. Because this picture, taken decades before her most recent appearance on the planet, somehow anticipates it, is still somehow such a great representation of her spirit. Because I can just imagine her dying her hair platinum Jean Harlow and firing off a few rounds in a bikini until we've exhausted the roll of film. Because I love you, my little sweetheart, forever. Just because...