Wake from dreaming...

When I woke this morning it was from a dream with you, little sweetheart! So, I grabbed my phone and spoke everything I could remember into a voice memo. I just listened back to it and it's a little groggy and a little intimate and I'm speaking to you, as I often do, but the gist is this: we were all out grocery shopping - or at the market as you would say. We'd all broken up into small groups of hunter gatherers and after meeting up again at the checkout, we wheeled the shopping cart - I did actually - out to the parking lot. But no one could remember where we'd parked. We couldn't find the car anywhere. Also, none of the groceries were in bags. Everything was loose in the shopping cart. So you and your mom went back into the store, the market, and got a bunch of plastic shopping bags, because we were going to have to walk home carrying everything. We were talking excitedly about some shows we were all going to watch on PBS and joking around too. Noah was there and he had bought a copy of Vogue that he wanted me to read for some reason. He or maybe he and Ryan, actually, had written some things on the cover with a ballpoint pen. Like a cartoon bubble over the model's head, and what she was thinking or saying. We were putting everything in the bags and you took the copy of Vogue and I laughed and said "actually, that's mine. Noah gave it to me". Then, you laughed, too, and started reading the thing on the cover. I don't remember what it said. Everyone, mysterious misplaced vehicle notwithstanding, was in great spirits. Your mom was in fine form, my sweetheart. Maybe the happiest I've ever seen her. And you were there! Oh, my love. We all were. I never have a better dream than dreams of being with you. I love it when you're in my dreams and fear that when you aren't that I must have done something terribly wrong. Please be with me always, my darling. Please forgive me for all my mistakes. I certainly do make a lot of them. And I'm so very sorry. But I love you with all my heart and soul. Please help me to do better and take me with you soon, won't you, my darling girl?  Waking is often hard. But this morning I had this wonderful dream to hang on to. And I was grateful.