Little sweetheart, tonight I went up to that little church I’ve told you about. On Wednesday nights they have that candlelight meditation service. There’s music and spoken word and a long silence at its center and the sanctuary is lit almost solely by candles. It was lovely tonight to sit quietly and to sing the little chants and say our prayer, my prayer for you and for guidance and to be delivered back to your side forever.
Near the end tonight was a little responsive prayer - one voice takes part of it and then everyone joins in in unison at others. One of unison phrases was so resonant to me, I circled it in the bulletin and brought it home, so I could write to you about it now. This is it, first the call and then the response:
Call: God of our mixed-up, tragic, aspiring, doubting and insurgent lives…
Response: Help us to be as good as in our hearts we have always wanted to be.
This is so perfect for me, my darling.
I’m almost always glad I take the long walk up there and back on Wednesday nights and have that quiet hour to calm me and think and pray for you and guidance and to return to your side. I still make so many mistakes, have so many false starts, fall prey to far too many distractions. But it is you who always redeem me. May I be worthy of you, my darling.
Please please help me to be as good as in my heart you have seen and can make me, because it’s what more than anything - to honor and be the person you believed and were (and still are!) making me grow and become. With a grateful spirit and all my love forever.