A Way To Live

I’m so worried all the time, little sweetheart, about things that almost certainly don’t matter and pale entirely when I can focus in on what’s really important, The Only Thing That Mattered and does still - you. I went to bed last night in physical pain, emotionally and spiritually exhausted, just hoping sleep would somehow make things right. This morning as the sun danced into the room, glancing off your pictures and illuminating them with promise and presence, I spoke quietly to you, saying our prayer and then continuing, wishing I could somehow learn and hold to a better way to live.

I nearly died a few months ago. I technically and very really did - my heart stopped for 10 minutes. Why do I remain, if not to do our work, yes, and to find the moments of simple joy that you try to point me toward as I stumble forward.

Help me to live, however broken, with gratitude, my little sweetheart. With gratitude for your having found me, with gratitude for your guiding me, with gratitude that if I just quiet myself and listen, I’ll hear you nearer than I can imagine and find myself found by you again and forever.