January 13th

Little sweetheart, 30 years ago today, my father died. It was so shocking at the time. I couldn’t know, then, how far more unfathomable life and loss would be. 

I talked to you about that day, little sweetheart. You’d lost your dear brother Jesse just the year before you and I met and although my dad’s passing was sudden and untimely, Jesse twenty years younger when he passed than my dad had been. Both far too young. I like to think that you and Jesse have gotten to know my dad a little and that you get together now and then, looking in on us here and encouraging us on. 

This week is always a strange one for me, little sweetheart - I remember how you would always so vigilantly check up on me as the day approached - and the passing of my dad is book-ended by the death of my friend Curt, who died in 2007 (again, less than a year before we met) on the 19th. 

I’m feeling on edge, little sweetheart, but saying quiet prayers. Please be near me. With all my love forever.