Always Be With Me...

You are the great gift of my life, little sweetheart. Thank god for you. Nothing in the whole world is better than being with you. How I long to be! And sometimes I can feel you near somehow. Today has been like that, my darling girl. I was having a strange dream this morning. It was making me terribly sad. In it, i was afraid you didn't want me anymore. I woke up and talked to you, as I often do, before I fell asleep again and dreamt I was at dinner somewhere, your parents were there, too. There was an extra half of a sandwich left and I was going to eat it but I remembered that you like to save half of anything and take it home for later, so I saved it for you. Since then, all day I've had the feeling that you are with me and near. It's hard to explain but it's a sensory thing. Coming in and out the house today, walking around the neighborhood running errands, going into the kitchen, pausing at the apartment door as I turn the key, a faint scent in the air or some familiar sensation along my skin, a sudden unformed but somehow recurrent thought like memory will sweep over me and I can almost touch our life. I know you're with me today. The Only Thing That Matters. And I love you. Always be with me, my little sweetheart. Don't go too far away. PS: also, sweetheart, somebody's been baking a cake this morning. I could smell what seemed like chocolate cake baking earlier and now I swear I can smell the frosting. And that's just like you! You always smell so good, my little Gingersnap. I often tell people that's what you smell like - the best birthday cake anyone ever made! I love you!!