Boston

I’m on the afternoon train to Boston, little sweetheart. I can never go there without thinking of you and the wonderful times we had there when you were in residence.

It’s suddenly freezing again in New York and is meant to be even colder today in Boston - the high is supposed to 19f! - so, I’m dressed warmly and in particularly because I’m wrapped up in the beautiful blue and grey scarf that you knitted for me in your downtime there and gave to me as a gift at our very Christmas together. I’m wearing the beautiful scarf you made in Boston on my way to Boston and will be wrapped in it and same way that I long to be wrapped within your arms and love.

I’m going up to see a friend’s play. She runs a small theatre in Cambridge that’s mostly dedicated to female playwrights. I’m coming back on Monday. It’s really cold, as I say, little sweetheart, so I don’t know if I’ll do much more than go to the theatre and stay inside.

But I’ll be thinking of you, I know, and all the wonderful times we had there together in the few days that I visited you around your birthday that year you were there working at The Huntington.

I remember it was quite cold and snowy then, too, even though it was early November. I remember walking a lot. Walking you to and from the theatre. Walking for what seemed like hours on your day off looking for a nice place to eat. I remember that by the time we finally found something - a cozy old pub - we were so hungry we got big bowls of clam chowder and burgers! And then had dessert! We were so hungry and needed to warm up. I remember the sweet little apartment they put you up in. I loved being there with you. I went to nearly every performance but on your birthday, I went out during the show and got groceries so that I could make you a nice dinner and a birthday cake for when you got done.

We had the most lovely time. It was that trip where we really started listening to DCfC quite a lot. And you burned CDs for me of some of their stuff and especially a Goldfrapp one. I love how you changed the order of songs around to ay you like them! Who thinks to do that?! And it’s one of the things I love so much about the CD-R of Goldfrapp’s “Felt Mountain” that you burned for me. The title track, which is basically an instrumental, comes up at the beginning and then twice more in the sequence. I wasn’t until later when I was looking up the titles online that I discovered in the original sequence it’s midway through the order and only appears once. Your way is better! It’s like a theme coming back and permeating the album.

Just the way that you are the theme of my life - all that’s important, all that matters, all that makes sense of everything. May you flow through me to the end of my life, my little sweetheart, in the same way that you came into it, saving me. And may the end of my life come soon, so that I may flow into you, joined together again and finally forever, flowing as one. As it should be and was meant to. With all my love…