How Many Songs Are There?

Little sweetheart, our dear dear Sylvia is here from France working on the two new albums with me, keeping me company and helping with everything so very much. She was very moved from the very beginning to hear your story and our own and of my boundless devotion to you. And she is very kind, little sweetheart, and caring.

The other morning as I was making us some breakfast I had WFMU on in the background and Jeffery Davison played “Where Does The Time Go”, which brought me to a complete stop, as I stood there weeping, remembering how you loved that song and how you first played it for me in your room in Boston. I told Sylvia all about it between sobs and she hugged me.

Then this afternoon as I was doing my home physical therapy exercises for my shoulder post-surgery, again with the radio in the background and Sylvia in the next room, I began to cry and cry. She heard me and rushed into the room. “Is it the music”, she asked, ever so kindly. With tears streaming down my face, I nodded. And then, cautiously but with the gentlest kind of concern, she asked, so sweetly “how many songs are there?”

It was at once lovely, thoughtful and not a little hilarious. It’s something you would do, little sweetheart. And were you to hear it asked in that very moment (as I suspect you did) would probably make you smile, even giggle, cheering right up and give her a hug yourself for being so thoughtful, worried and probably not a little overwhelmed.

Honestly, there are a lot of songs. And countless moments, as I move through what remains of my life, when I am seized with thoughts of you, little sweetheart, and overwhelmed myself with so many emotions - of longing, of love, of affection, of gratitude.

Please help and guide me in these times and all times, won’t you, little sweetheart? And know I love you with all my heart and soul forever.