April (one)

It's a new month, little sweetheart- April - the month of my birth, full of memories and milestones and thoughts about the miracle that is you.

I remember the beautiful gift you sent me that first year just after I'd returned to New York and how excited I was when you called to say you were coming here for your first visit.

I remember how the very next year, on this very day, the first, that I awaited a flight myself in the early morning light that would take me to you. I'd been in San Francisco, then, most of the early part of the year but returned for a week to New York to deal with a few things before flying back. I remember waiting to board, watching President Obama on the TV overhead meeting the Prime Minister in London. I remember reading your early morning texts telling me that you would meet me at SFO when I arrived and that you were "too excited to sleep" that night.

April is full of other memories, too, some quite sad and others simply tragic. But I'm trying my best to hold on to hope and the love you illuminated my lonely life with. I'm so very grateful for you, my gorgeous girl.

Please be with me today, help and guide and take me to you just as soon as heaven will allow. With all my love forever.